Progression

Background: Wrote it 02/22/2008. It's kind of self-explanatory. I really like it except for the end. Maybe one day I'll edit it. Funny thing is, it's still not over. The progression. Maybe I'll keep updating it, but six months of 19 and 20 weren't notable enough to fit into this poem ha

Six months of sixteen, and it was all falling apart

Forced to trudge through bleak halls with something heavy on my heart

Cliche like the day I had my first vodka shot

But it couldn't get worse from there, or so I thought

I stood there helplessly as friends were snatched away

Screamed and cried, but the temptation stayed

The world don't stop for no one as it corrupts young souls

Vivid visions I'll have to live with till I grow old

Like her subtle decay from great to skank

There purely one minutes before the pressure took her away

Now she's hit rock bottom, and I don't think life's fair

Crying because it's irreversible. Crying because I still cared.

Six months of seventeen - it's better, but worse

The main problem's out of my life, but I think I've been cursed

Friendships ended, the implications set in

As I lie to myself, deny that I want it to be "back then"

Turn a corner, and it's a confrontation with my past

Innocence and naivete that I swore would last

But now the world around me was hell, and I was about to slip in it

Vague tugging in my heart, pleading with me not to do it

Big dreams crashed in the rubble with my youth

Then the defilement of love - that word is so screwed

At least in regards to marriages ripped apart

By a desperate little whore with a blackened heart

Six months of eighteen - all I can do is smile

I think I'll embrace this peace for awhile

Like for the rest of my life - why stop it now?

Thanks to constant searching by my Lord, my soul's finally re-found

External circumstances still burn, but it's a singe I ignore

Set a match to all that was before

Ashes of the past come together to burn brightly in my life

Was a mess back then, but now it's all right

That two year drought of angsty adolescence

It's raining hard now - the stressing never happened

It all happens for a reason - some call it fate

I call it God bestowing me with strength

I'd live through the pain again

If I knew I'd come out like this in the end

South of Nowhere

Background: Written, like, November 2005. Has nothing to do with the show except for that's no doubt where I got the title from. Um, it's just about when life's good.

I’m south of nowhere

I’m already on top

I don’t have to go up any higher

And I need nothing more than I’ve already got

I’m in the midst of somewhere

Where this kind of life never ends

There’ll be no definite ending

And I don’t even know how it all began

I’m in the flow with anyone

That’s ready to get down

Who can handle what I’ve got

And is willing to stick around

And nothing can get better than this

Life's like God's sweetest kiss

Gone around the block and know that I'm blessed

Finally gotten out of all of that mess

And this is how it's gonna stay

And I like my life that way

I'm south of nowhere, baby

I'm south of nowhere, baby

I’m so full of everything

And sometimes I release it all

It’s not healthy to keep it bottled up

‘Cause you’ll be heavier when you fall

I’m south of nowhere

And fine where I’m at

I’ve got everything I need

And nothing can beat that

Self Esteem

Background: Started this probably September 2005 but may have added more later. About a good friend I used to have with relatively low self-esteem

Self Esteem

That’s what she needs

Because she looks in the mirror

And just wants to scream

She picks apart herself

Finding nonexistent flaws

And sinking deeper into her self hatred

Until at last she falls

Damn that mirror

It only shows a fragment of the truth

No stupid piece of glass

Depicts what’s inside of you

She’s a beautiful person

And a mirror isn’t needed to see it

If there was just only some way

I could make her believe it

She quietly sings

a sorrowful song

Pointing out everything

She thinks that is wrong (that she thinks is wrong?)

She has it hammered

And drilled boldly into her head

That she is imperfect

So at night she cries in her bed

She’s a truly blessed person

On the inside and on the out

And I can’t stand that she’s oblvious

Lost in her world of personal doubt

If only I could alter her self-interpretation

And convince her that she needs no altercations (is in need of no)

She’s perfect the way she is

And I wish she could see it

If there was just some way

I could make her believe it

She is too good, too wonderful

To be thinking like that

And it kills me every time

Low confidence can be the downfall

To such an amazing being

All because she (only) concentrates

On the things she thinks she sees

She has it all

I look at her and see it

If there was just some way

I could make her believe it

Your Busy Road

Background: I'd say this was written late April 2006. It's about making up with somebody, even though it seems like a bad idea and everyone is saying you shouldn't. I guess it's supposed to be a song.

If I screw myself over then you'll screw yourself, too

It's what all the other people without love seem to do


And you'll do it without any shame


'Cause to feel good, you've got no other way

And you think you can get away

With taking all of your pain


And then dumping it on me


And I’ll take it willingly

Without a single complaint

And showcase my sacrifice for none to see

Well, it's true - you've been acquitted


And I give up - I've quitted

I'll just lay in the middle of your busy road

Just do what you want

And I'll do it, too

I'll ignore everything I've ever been told

They say I make no sense


That all my sanity's already been spent


But there's really no need for any clarity


When all that has to be understood is this:


None of your shots have missed

one plus one's two, then two plus two's four

and there's nothing more that I'd adore

than to not have to go through this anymore

step back a bit and settle the score

but oh my! that's certainly a lie

I won't even attempt to deny

I like this pain and I don't know why

it's what you do to me and you don't even try

it's not so bad, but it's not so right

i wonder about it each and every night

if I should get into you or listen to them

either way I go, I'm not gonna win

'cause one way leads to cravings

and the other to misbehavings

it's either safe but screwed

or screwed but happy

They say I make no sense

That all my sanity's already been spent

But there's really no need for any clarity


When all that has to be understood is this:


None of your shots have missed

Well, I've come to a consensus

Yeah I said it and meant it

I know what I have to do

Listen up, and I'll go and tell you

Well, your permission's granted 'cause I know where my heart lies

And it's completely true 'cause the heart never lies

I'll just take what might hit and go with the flow

Yes, I'll lay in the middle of your busy road

Hot Christmas (Your Kiss)

Background: Started this in December of 2006, finished it the following December - I think it's great. It's meant to be completely humorous and it's a "holiday" song.


Disclaimer: This song is meant in the context of marriage

Baby, baby, it might be snowing outside
But it's gettin' hot in here - why don't we take a spicy sleigh ride?
Baby, baby, the seasons' all about giving
So give it to me, baby - let's make this life worth living

The smell of holly's gettin' me a little more than just jolly
Gingerbread must be an aphrodisiac
And when it comes to unwrapping presents, I don't want to unwrap a dolly
It's you I wanna unwrap once you're packed (sorry, that is such a horrible line lol)
So what do you say? Let's get the grove in Christmas bacccck.

Chorus
I just want to have your kiss
Fulfill my sultry holiday wish
So bring out the mistletoe this Christmas
Throw out all inhibitions and just do this
Let's snog!
In the mood from sippin' eggnog
Just make out!
Gettin' hotter than Rudolph's snout
I just want your kiss. Just gimme your kiss.


Baby, baby, you're shining just like a sprightly elf
Uh huh.
So baby, take your lovin' off the shelf
Oh yeah.
Turn off those colored lights and put on some slow music
I'll jingle your bells, and you'll deck my halls - let's do it (hahahahahaha)

Now I ain't talkin' about sex - I just want a little tongue OR hey baby, we're married so this sure ain't wrong
The feeling I get with you, it's just like sleigh bells have rung
So move a little closer - I'll be your substitution for the fire
Let's just give into our yuletide desires
You're the only thing I want this year
So let's go all night like one of Santa's reindeer

Repeat chorus.

What You Gonna Do

Background: My best friend's little sister made up the chorus to this song. I imagined it as the perfect teeny-bopper pop song, so I attempted to write the rest of it. There's two versions, apparently...

Version 1

Well, I don’t really care

But I live and all you do is stare

Am I really that hot? (you know, girl)

Or do you think I grow pot? (Mary Jane!)

Look at me - still not caring

I’ll do what I like - yeah, I’m daring

But all you throwing at me is haterade and criticism

I’m about to go Jewish and give your face a circumcism

‘Cause, man, I never did nothing to you

Yeah, I wil’ out, but I keep it strictly with my crew

Just minding my own business

Listen up, ‘cause I don’t want you to miss this

Okay, yeah, I might step out a line

But it’s all worth it, man, ‘cause I’m having one gonch of a time

You try so hard to really get me down

But I’m not trying at all and look at me now

What you gonna do about me now?

What you gonna think about me now?

I’m gonna do it

What you gonna do about me now?

What you gonna think about me now?

I’m gonna think it

I’m out, y’all - can’t keep my mouth shut

And you can’t keep yours shut

muttering on about stupid stuff

Like how already sick of me

Well, I’m sick of you giving me grief

Just save it for the funeral, please

Think I can’t see past your so-called subtleties?

Every single thing you do is a personal attack against me

Hey - not my fault that my life’s going smoother than yours

I keep it chaste and you’re living it up as a whore (yeah, I went there!)

I’ve managed to fly though you wanna drag me down

If I’m the grade A beef then you’re just a dairy cow

What you gonna do about me now?

What you gonna think about me now?

I’m gonna do it

What you gonna do about me now?

What you gonna think about me now?

I’m gonna do it.

Repeat.

Slow it down dramatically and mystically.

You keep on shooting shots but they won’t hit at all

You protest - but I still proudly yell out my call

Your hating gets old, Why don’t you drop it, doll?

You can keep on trying but I’m gonna keep on standing tall

Version 2

Well, I don’t really care

But I live and all you do is stare

Am I really that hot? (you know, girl)

Or do you think I grow pot? (Mary Jane!)

Look at me - still not caring

I’ll do what I like - yeah, I’m daring

Just minding my own business

Listen up, ‘cause I don’t want you to miss this

Okay, yeah, I might step out a line

But it’s all worth it, man, ‘cause I’m having one gonch of a time

You try so hard to really get me down

But I’m not trying at all and look at me now

What you gonna do about me now?

What you gonna think about me now?

I’m gonna do it

What you gonna do about me now?

What you gonna think about me now?

I’m gonna think it

I can’t keep my mouth shut

And you can’t keep yours shut

muttering on about stupid stuff

Well, just shut the gonch up

Say you’re already sick of me

Well, I’m sick of you trying to have beef

Think I can’t see past your so-called subtleties?

Every single thing you do is a personal attack against me

I’m gonna ahead and shut this door

‘Cause I can’t deal with you no more

Just hatin’ ‘cause I do my life flyer than yours

You livin’ like some ol’ bore

I’ve managed to fly though you wanna drag me down

If I’m the grade A beef then you’re just a stupid ol’ dairy cow

What you gonna do about me now?

What you gonna think about me now?

I’m gonna do it

What you gonna do about me now?

What you gonna think about me now?

I’m gonna do it.

Repeat.

Slow it down dramatically and mystically.

You keep on shooting shots but they won’t hit at all

You protest - but I still proudly yell out my call

Your hating gets old, Why don’t you drop it, doll?

You can get short all you want but I’m gonna keep on standing tall

Untitled from 09/2009

Background: Crushing on/liking/being in love with your best friend's boyfriend is obnoxious...I would imagine...ha...so here's a little somethin' somethin' about that conflict. Not quite finished, but close

We want the same thing

Guess our kind of minds do think alike

But it’s you who gets the prize

Because he was never mine

Can’t say I’ll love him better

So instead I get to love him, bitter

Two years running - you’re still the winner

Better one of us than none of us?

My pathetic attempt at self-consolation

But no - take the boy, I’ll take the tears

And I’ll take my peace, you take the fears

Fears of the heart broken again

We both know how he is

We know how nicely it begins

And how horribly it always ends

And maybe I’ll forever be stuck as the friend